lol I Fogell.
and Superbad

I could say Im pretty happy with dA at the moment, but that would be a massive underfuckingstatement; Im ecstatic with it!
and Im quite proud of myself too xD Its fun getting excited (I really do get excited lol) when I put on a new photo, and its even awesomer (is that even a word?) getting favourites/comments from random people, its like 'Holy shit, that person has never met me before in their whole entire life, they probably dont even know my name, but fuckyeah; they like my photo! ' each time.
and you know what really made my day?! I got a note today saying I was featured in Treasures in the Photomanip Galleries (December) along with a lot of amazing artworks. and I got some favourites out of it - not that Im about favourites, that jabber I was jabbering on about before explains it - from people who are amazing artists.
I feel.. honoured.
wow.

anddddd.. its like, even awesomer-er (thats definately not a word) that today is the last day of '08. Id decided today while being in a shit mood that I dont really care for nor do I understand all the celebrations for New Years. Like, today is a day.. tomorrow is a day.
No matter what the year was, Im probably going to forget this day anyway.
and thats what shits me, like, I wanna remember every tiny detail of every day in my life until the last second I die. So, after that little thought, Ive decided today is going to just get better (somehow) and Im gonna remember it forever.

I suggest you do the same.

I dont know why Im rambling so much, but if you've bothered reading this much, why not read the rest?

This shits always on my mind.
I have this HUGE envy and obsession for/with daredevils - I guess thats what you could call them - like the Jackass Crew & The Dudesons. Its people like them that make everyday of their life memorable. Like, my biggest hero in the whole entire world is Steve-O. That guy is amazing. Stupid, but amazing. and most people think "stupid for putting his life in danger for entertainment", but no, its more like stupid for getting into drugs. He's made himself a well known person for doing the randomest shit ever all around the world. But, he is a real intelligent person too, I dont know about his maths skills or any of that shit.. but he really is out there to make life fun! and he has some amazing philosophies. I love these quotes from him..

"I've been on a massive crusade inspired by anger, and fear, of death. I think it sucks that we're going to die, and I get my mind off of that shitty fact by doing everything in my power to entertain others enough to get their minds off of that shitty fact. I am a "distraction therapist"."

and this one..

"Now, about God. Start by thinking of your own body, it is made up of cells. Some of those cells are helpful (i.e. healthy), and others are harmful (i.e. cancer cells). Regardless, all of the cells in your body constantly die off, and are replaced, while you, the "organism" continues to live on. My belief is that God is "The Sum Of Life", meaning that we are all "cells" in the "Body Of God". Some of us are assholes (i.e. cancer cells in the Body Of God), and some of us do great things, but, no matter what choices we make in Life, we are all a part of God. Whether we realize it or not, we are all inherently Divine. It's a very simple concept, but most people are too terrified to think of/discuss Death to grasp it. Be stoked on Life, you're a part of God, and you have the power to make God better..."

Im not a religious person, but after reading that it really makes sense. Maybe I wouldnt use the word "god", but its a simple yet believeable way to think of life. and I agree. In a way, I think he is using his power to make 'god' better just by being a dickhead and having fun.

Ever since watching Jackass, Ive always wanted to be like that. To be one of those people that everyone remembers, thats why I wanna get famous. It was like I had an epiphoney (I dont know how to spell it) a million times over after reading these journals of Steve-O's. Its what I wanna do, who I wanna be and how I plan to make 'god' better.
I love it.
I love that guy.
So, one day, expect to see me on TV and hear people saying "What a fuckwit. She really doesn't value her life, instead she's wasting it away.." But I'll be the one rememering every detail about my life and be able to say I've really lived.
I dont know how Im gonna get there, but I will.

and ya know what? Im extremely scared of heights, but fuck it, Im never gonna stop myself from doing something because Im scared of it anymore.



ahh. I have no idea how my journal went from dA, to the meaning of life lol
But yeah.
I dont know.
Enjoy. haha.